January 27, 2014

Mornings and "snuggle time"

I'm. Not. A. Morning. Person.

I can't stress that enough.

But...there is something about being awake before the buzz of the day sets in. Before the animals begin requesting to go out or be fed (they all seem to like to sleep in as long as possible these days). And before my son or husband wake.

It's quiet. All I can hear is the dog snoring at my feet and the cat snoring beside me on the couch. Maybe the tapping of a few claws on the laminate flooring as another cat makes her way from here to there. A lone meow. The humming of the appliances. The soothing waterfall of the fish tank's filter.

When I wake, there is a routine. There has to be, since my brain must be on autopilot for me to function. I turn on the "less bright" kitchen light, make my coffee, and then shuffle my way to the couch to write by the soft glow of two living room lamps.

I usually have about half an hour of uninterrupted quiet. Which, in any family household, is a blessing and a miracle.

When my son wakes up, I fight the urge to continue writing and remind myself to be present in the moment with him...to suck in every second that he seeks to snuggle with me in the pre-dawn. We've been doing this for a long time. It became a tradition several years back when I was trying to come up with ways to spend quality time with my son during our very busy days. I was feeling like a disconnected parent, doing nothing but directing and dictating, just making it through from morning to evening without killing anyone. So, "snuggle time" became a positive way to begin our day. Fifteen solid minutes of one-on-one closeness.

We don't always talk. Sometimes he tells me about the dreams he had (good or bad). Sometimes we just plan out or discuss the coming day. And it usually ends with him begging for "just one more minute". Sometimes, it irritates me...because my mind is already abuzz with all the dozens of things that must be accomplished in the next hour for us to get out the door on time. "No...we have to get going, or we'll be late."

But, quite honestly, I should cherish that extra minute every single time. There are a lot of things I cannot say yes to. "No, you may not have candy for breakfast." "No, you may not wear shorts to school in the middle of winter." Those things are parenting common sense. But, saying, "No, you may not have one more minute of my time...no more of my attention or awareness...it is now time for me to get dressed and make the lunches and put on my make-up and do my hair and run breathless out the front door while dragging you by your unwilling little arm and ranting about how late we are going to be," seems ludicrous.

So, this morning...and every morning that I can possibly remind myself...I will say yes. "Yes, you may have one more minute of my squeezing and physical contact that you may no longer want in just a few years."

One more minute is the least I can give. If nothing else positive happens today, at least I can say that we had this time. And I'm grateful for it.

No comments:

Post a Comment